CD1. A day for new beginnings, new plans and new hope. At least that is how it should be. Today feels much less "new box of crayons" and much more "rain on the windshield." My last chance to be pregnant before my due date...gone. My last chance to have a baby before 36...gone.
I guess we are on to round two of Clomid. I'm thankful I responded in round one, but I wish it would have resulted in two pink lines instead of cramps, tears and tampons. This CD1 has hit me so much harder than the previous ones. I'm not sure why, exactly. Possibly it is the hope I allowed myself. Perhaps it is all of the dreams of positive pee sticks. Maybe it is simply the increased hormonal effects of Clomid. Whatever it is, it sucks. Bad.
Here's hoping that I'll be celebrating both the birth of my nephew and the conception of my little firefly next month. If the universe has any sense of fairness, I just might be.
I'm so sorry. CD1 is always very difficult for me too, even without such daunting milestones being attached to it. I truly hope next cycle will be your lucky one. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHugs lady, I understand the feelings with the pee stick is stark white. Damn Clomid for making it even tougher.
ReplyDeleteMy sister. Should be. An author.
ReplyDeleteAnd a mommy :)
Hey would you happen to have a better copy of "Rain on the Windshield"? I would love to use it as a wallpaper. My email is rushikh@gmail.com thanks.
ReplyDelete